Here Comes the Bride, With AI-Generated Wedding Vows…

As the height of wedding season approaches, some people are turning to artificial intelligence for help with their vows and speeches. ChatGPT, an AI chatbot, can transform ordinary wedding vows into something more poetic or add humor to a toast.

At first glance, using a chatbot to express your deepest love may seem cold, lazy, or even dystopian. However, those who have harnessed this technology claim that it can help overcome writer’s block and the high expectations that come with such a special day. People are becoming increasingly comfortable using AI in the most intimate aspects of their lives.

While using ChatGPT for assistance with weighty words like wedding vows may seem like a joke to some, it has the ability to generate phrases that defy expectations. Michelle Albert, a resident of Seattle, asked the bot to write vows, expecting something funny. Surprisingly, the output was sweet, albeit generic. It touched upon her fiancée’s intelligence, kindness, and beauty, and included clichés like „I love you more than words can say.“

Despite its generic nature, Albert was intrigued by the unexpected fluency and it motivated her to start writing her own personal vows. „The best use case for me is just inspiration,“ says Albert. She also used ChatGPT to develop ideas for having difficult conversations with family and friends about downsizing her wedding, which meant not everyone she loved would be invited. Additionally, she and her fiancée used the bot to help plan their five-day honeymoon in Hawaii.

Joy, a popular wedding-planning website and app, has incorporated an AI tool built on ChatGPT to help overcome writer’s block. Its drop-down menu offers various options, including writing speeches and toasts, drafting thank you notes, and creating witty wedding hashtags such as „MyOhMaui“ for a wedding in Hawaii or „SailingToMarriageOnTheHighSeas“ for a pirate-themed wedding.

Vishal Joshi, CEO and co-founder of Joy, acknowledges the initial hesitation that some may feel about using AI for such personal touches. „Are we trying to make something which is so emotional and so personal—are we attempting to automate it?“ Joshi says. „We had that struggle.“

However, despite these concerns, generating vows and toasts has become the most popular feature of Joy’s AI tool since its launch. Joshi believes this popularity aligns with the fact that even before the advent of AI, many people found it challenging to express their feelings on their wedding day. „Getting those emotions onto paper is so much harder than any one of us acknowledges,“ Joshi says.

To generate speeches, Joy prompts users to provide details of memorable stories about the couple and their relationship, such as how they met or the first encounter with future in-laws. For vows, the app asks individuals to highlight what they love most about their partner. They can then choose the style of delivery, directing the system to generate something in the style of a friend, Shakespeare, or even a pessimistic ex. One vow suggestion in the style of the playwright begins: „To stroll the beach in front of us, I’d give the world to share, thy values of repose and revelry matched with mine, that is so rare.“

Just like with any output from a ChatGPT-style bot, AI-crafted vows or speeches can include stories that may not be true. In WIRED’s tests, it took several attempts and edits before ChatGPT included enough personalized details or memories to create something that felt genuine and authentic enough to be read in front of guests and witnesses.

Before ChatGPT, best men or maids

of honor might have turned to Google for speech ideas and templates. Using a chatbot provides an alternative shortcut, offering end results similar to taking inspiration from another speech or purchasing a Hallmark card with a generic message. However, incorporating AI into the process can also introduce new tensions to an already high-pressure project.

Even couples who are ready to make a lifelong commitment may have differing opinions about the ethics of using a chatbot. If one partner uses ChatGPT to effortlessly write vows in a matter of minutes, while the other spends hours staring at a blank page, pouring their heart out into every word, their efforts may feel mismatched. Nevertheless, some couples might embrace this innovative approach as a means to achieve a better result: vows that are meaningful and memorable.

ChatGPT’s linguistic skills stem from its training on vast amounts of online text, including countless examples of standard wedding speeches and vows. This raises concerns that its suggestions might come across as overly formulaic or trite. However, the ritualistic nature of weddings means that using AI-generated text that draws from other vows and toasts may not be jarring. When two individuals stand before their loved ones and declare words that millions have uttered before them, they enter a revered club of matrimony. „What makes it mine to say is that I say it—not necessarily that I wrote it,“ says Quinn White, a philosophy professor at Harvard University who studies the ethics of love and relationships. Therefore, the similarities in vows and speeches generated by chatbots may not matter within the context of the ritual. „I think in the context of a ritual, sameness isn’t always bad.“

Arguably, slinging a few clichés is better than delivering a disastrous toast. This was the reasoning behind entrepreneur Ben Hart’s creation of ToastWiz, an AI tool that prompts users to input personal details and memories, and utilizes GPT-4 to generate a clean, clear, yet personalized speech. A few years ago, Hart was asked to give a toast at his mother’s wedding. Procrastinating until the last minute, he found himself at a loss for words when he stood up to speak. ToastWiz, on the other hand, promises three „unique“ speeches in an instant for a one-time fee of $29.99.

AI can also lend a helping hand with the smaller details of wedding planning. Brandon Kazimer and Jen Merlitti, who are set to marry this summer in Illinois, turned to ChatGPT to assist them in creating signature wedding cocktails. The bar package they selected for their reception came with a set menu, and adding even one additional ingredient would come at a steep cost. Overwhelmed by the plethora of choices, the couple scoured Pinterest, cocktail websites, and consulted their caterer, but they still felt indecisive.

Enter ChatGPT to save the day. Prompted with the available ingredients and their preferred cocktail styles, the bot delivered with precision. For Merlitti, it suggested a strawberry and basil vodka spritzer, while for Kazimer, it concocted what he calls the GPT Martini: gin, dry vermouth, olive brine, fresh lemon juice, celery, bitters, one stuffed green olive, and a lemon peel. „Nothing quite felt right for us,“ says Kazimer. „So leave it to AI to solve our problem in five seconds.“

Although Kazimer and Merlitti won’t be relying on ChatGPT for their vows, their collaborative effort under pressure, which included the assistance of a chatbot, helped them cross one more item off their long wedding planning list and created personalized drinks. And who’s to say there isn’t something romantic about that?